Being a devotee of America’s Test Kitchen and Cook’s Illustrated as I am, I was delighted to see that they had a version of almost no-knead (ANK) bread that I could try. The recipe, typically hidden behind the paywall, can be found in multiple places including here. I was completely fascinated by their modifications, which included the addition of both beer and vinegar. Since I was already planning to make bratwurst for dinner this weekend, I thought that a nice loaf of bread would be a perfect addition to dinner.

12 hours later, the lifeless dough looks exactly like it did when I left it the night before

I mixed up the dough on Saturday night, covered it and left it unattended overnight, just as I have with the other overnight no-knead recipe. Mid-morning on Sunday I peeked under the plastic wrap. Inside I found the same withered lump of dough that I had put there the night before. I don’t think it rose at all. Nonetheless, I decided to walk through the rest of the steps just to see what would happen.

The first thing that I noticed was that the dough was wet. Not just a little bit sticky, but completely soggy wet. I dusted my work surface and hands with flour, and yet it still stuck to everything it came into contact with. I kneaded for approximately 15 seconds, as indicated, then shook the sticky mess onto a sheet of parchment. I knew that it wasn’t going to work, but wanted to see if I could get any rise out of the dough.

Interestingly, this is my first venture into instant yeast. Yes, all of the recipes call for instant, but because active dry yeast was all I had in the house, I would still use the old-school method of dissolving yeast in 100-105 degree water before mixing. This time, I decided to follow the recipe to the letter and do things the easy way. Was it a bad batch of yeast? Did I do something wrong? I clearly remember measuring everything carefully, and even measured the flour by weight instead of volume. If anything, this recipe should have been more successful because of my precision.

Knowing that the ANK dough probably wasn’t going to turn into bread, I mixed up a backup loaf of the crusty bread. That dough doubled in size almost immediately, pushing the plastic wrap off the bowl. At least I knew that I’d have something to fall back on!

Too dark on the bottom, too gummy inside: that's why we call it Failbread

I opted to bake the ANK bread anyway. It came out of the oven much too dark on the bottom and with both a strange taste and utterly rubbery texture; its now known as Failbread in my house. I don’t understand where I went wrong, but because it’s from America’s Test Kitchen I feel like it’s worthy of another shot.

Below is the emergency, no-fail, short-notice bread recipe.

Crusty Bread (Quick No-Knead Bread)

Ingredients

• 1.5 Tbsp active dry yeast
• 1.5 Tbsp kosher salt
• 6 cups King Arthur unbleached all-purpose flour
• 3 cups of water, heated to between 100-105 degrees

Instructions

In a large bowl, activate the yeast in the water. Add salt. Stir in flour, mixing to incorporate all ingredients. The dough will be sticky and loose.

Cover the bowl with plastic wrap. Set aside for 2-5 hours at room temperature.

At this point, the dough can either be refrigerated for up to two weeks or baked. I usually divide in half, saving enough for a second loaf on another day.

When ready to bake, sprinkle flour on the work surface and your hands. Fold the dough on itself a few times. Stretch dough to create a smooth side and a lumpy side. Place dough, lumpy side down, on a cornmeal-coated cutting board or sheet of parchment paper. Let rest for 40-90 minutes.

Put a dutch oven in your oven and preheat to 450 degrees for a minimum of 30 minutes. Carefully remove dutch oven and insert bread, still lumpy side down. If using parchment, stick the whole thing in the dutch oven to prevent sticking.

Bake for 30 minutes, covered. Uncover for 10 more or until bread is golden and sounds hollow when tapped.

Cool on a wire rack. Serve warm.