A momentary rant about accessibility

Last updated on February 1, 2023

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you a momentary rant about accessibility.

Like most able-bodied people, I have to admit that I never gave a whole lot of thought to physical accessibility. Sure, I was aware of handicapped parking spaces outside Target, or the fact that there were handicapped restrooms, but I never gave any thought to layout and design.

And then I broke my foot.

I figured that as long as I had a chauffeur to get me there, my handicapped parking pass and crutches could get me almost anywhere. And that’s almost true. But there have been some glaring examples of horrible design that caught my eye.

Last week, a friend took me out for lunch. We parked in the handicapped spots near the restaurant, but as I got out of the car, I realized that in order to actually get from the car to the building, I had to either climb up a curb, across an uneven grassy patch and down another curb, or else I had to crutch myself an additional 25 yards to the right to avoid the concrete and grass median.

And handicapped restrooms! I could spend days on this topic alone. Fact: just because the space is large enough to fit a wheelchair doesn’t mean that it’s actually accessible. In one, the seat covers were located near the door to the stall. In another, the only handrail was behind the toilet, which I suppose would help you get up only if you were a Cirque du Soleil contortionist. In yet another, the soap dispenser was a full two steps away from the sink. And heavy, self-closing bathroom doors: do you have any idea how hard it is to hold those things open without falling over?

These things might not seem like much, but when you’re trying to balance on crutches, it’s huge. It always reminds me of the scene in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (a strange connection, I grant you), where Kumar realizes that he’s forgotten his cell phone. “Do you want to run back and get it?” Harold asks. Kumar stares at the 20 feet between them and the apartment door: “No, we’ve gone too far.” There are times where just a few feet feel like the equivalent of miles.

So please, if you’re trying to set up a facility that’s handicapped accessible, do your best to make sure that it’s actually accessible. I promise you that it would be much appreciated.